Shiv's Journal

everybody wants...
celebrity poo/wee/bacteria

I'm having another mid life crisis and am dying my hair reddishbrown.
I can tell its going ginger already.

mentioned cardigan appears to be falling apart, already.
Stress levels= +2

Only 1 more night shift left out of this batch, if I read one more pension magazine my brain is going to explode.
My favourite story from this weeks Take-A-Break is the elderly woman who married a young Gambien man who worked on a ciggarette cart married her for a VISA and she thought he loved her.
What a muggins.

I've always thought TK Maxx was a hunk of shit till today, I got a lush cardigan reduced from 250 quid to 59.99 and a £31 bra for 4.99.
My world definently revolves around the material things in life.

my interests collage
Mine is rather disturbing, especially the 6th pic in,
( My Interests Collage! )

Having dreamt about peppermint cream chocolate all day I realised I am too poor for this kind of luxury.
Choosing the nearest thing in my kitchenette as an alternative, I chucked a bag of salted popcorn in the micro-rave.
and forgot about it.
Now my flat is filled with smoke.

While flicking through Sophies journal I found this handy 'draw a pig'

my piggy

[B][COLOR=Indigo][SIZE=5]siobhan annie[/SIZE][/COLOR][/B]
[URL=http://drawapig.desktopcreatures.com/gallery/large.asp?id=1219238&p=0&hof=1&q=personality+test][IMG]http://drawapig.desktopcreatures.com/gallery/2006/9/5/1219238.jpg[/IMG]
[COLOR=Indigo]Click to view my test results[/COLOR][/URL]

apparantly I am distrustful with a good-quality sex life.

The next boyfriend I will have to be/have/do/not do the following specifications;

- Have a clean bathroom, which provides a soap & clean hand towel for washing hands after doing a wee/poo.

- Have a clean sink/toilet bowl.

- Have CLEAN non-greyed boxer shortz.

- Not be overly affectionate, don't want my knee/arm to be stroked all the time, just rest your arm there, not give me friction burn with your 'gentle' touch.

- Share a love for junk food, but not enough to make me obese.

- Make me tea in bed.

- Enjoy afternoon naps.

- Have a medium/average sized willy.

- Not to wear tacky t-shirts with shit sayings on.

- STRICTLY no baseballs caps.

- Not vain (sp?), but good upkeep of appearance.

- No facial hair other than stubble/moustasches, NO GOATEES or italian style beard triangles.

- No pumperknickle noses (red/puffy/spotty).

- Spots are fine as long as I can squeeze them and their not TOO .

- Reasonably bad dancer, no swanky moves.

- No playing guitar while I'm trying to watch a TV programme, or generally EVER while I am in the room.

I'll come back to anymore I think of.

Times are hard when I have to drink 'cuppa soup', its not even deluxe cuppasoup, its Tescos economy 'Soup in a Mug'.

Lastnight I had a weird dream. I went for a night out on the razz and went to a pub. In the pub everyone from my secondary school with was having a party.
And everyone was doing better than me in jobs/love/life.
Even the one with crusty eyes and buckteeth.

Crikey, its all probably true though.

After the shittest year ever; it just seems to be getting shitter.

I have come to the conclusion working with those with mental illnesses is slowly making me go fruity.
One of the residents had their baby - a plastic doll tucked up in her bed with toys and colouring books all around it and I patted it on the head and asked how the baby was.
Crikey.

I've decided that I'm going to become a do-gooder.
I'm going to stop wasting my life on drinking, smoking and buying clothes and actually think about people who are worse off than me. I waste so much time sitting about doing nothing when I could be contributing to make the world a happy place, an idealistic view but you know what I mean,
I'm going to stop being selfish.

i feel utterly miserable and lonely :'(

I have just ordered a Challenge Xtreme powerdrill kit and a stepladder.
Lastnight I ordered a winnie the pooh cross stitch kit.
what is happenning.

Gosh, what a magical day one has had.
First at work-training today I did some EXTREME-buffeting. There was supposed to be 15 people but only 6 turned up, so I had two mountains of sausage rolls and mixed crisp bowl galore.
Then I went to Tescos and brought some LUSHIOUS dinners.
If I am not obese by tomorrow then I will be highly shocked.

Only 4 days till ArtySmokes birthday and then I can present him with his birthday-quiche.

brill x

Seems as life is so boring at the moment I have decided to spice up my life with some livejournal lists.
I am going to make myself some goals, some that can be done now and some that can be done anytime and get cracking on achieving them.
These are my life plans.
1) Go to Las Vegas for a lost weekend of illegal activities and marriage.
2) Divorce above
3) Meet somebody who wants to marry me.
4) Have 1 sprog and adopt one.
5) Give blood.
6) Learn to drive.
7) Gain a healthy life style.
8) Feed sharks.
9) Become a nurse.
10) Become confident.

Hmm, I'll add to the rest at a later date.
Love and Breadcrumbs
Lorraine Quiche x

This is whom my name is based on, sheer beauty is all I can say.
Some women have all the luck, and the quiche.

This is my first entry and probably my worse entry.
Testing, 123.